In my twenties, I used to think that my life would not be that much different when I’m in my forties. My life isn’t much different now than it was then, just a little swapping. I swapped friends for kids, bars for sleep overs and Friday night drinks with the girls for Friday night soccer games and beers after the game. Still, my life feels the same! One problem…I’m not the same.

I couldn’t wait for Friday nights and usually started partying on Thursdays. Now, I just want to go and hang with the kids for awhile then crawl into bed and read my book before putting in a movie and falling asleep. My social life has become my soccer teams and playing three nights a week. I still hang with my friends and we do what we love, which is playing soccer.  Some how, it feels the same. In my head, I know I’m not the same.

Maybe because I’m not where I want to be….for myself, my kids, my family. I thought I would never get married and that was okay for me. Miss Independant, don’t need a man, I can do it on my own. Well, I’m doing it on my own, every day, and it isn’t as satifsying as I thought it would be. To take care of my self and my family on my own, to make all the decisions and carry all the weight of them. What was I thinking?

That is why I am so tired at the end of the day. I watch those people with the perfect lawns, BBQing in the back with friends and family and they always seem to have so much energy. Everything is done…the house is clean, the lawn is beautiful, the bills are paid, refrigerator full and all the laundry is clean, folded and put neatly away. I’m bustin my ass to get the lawn mowed and the garbage out on the right day. My car needs to be washed, weeds need to be pulled, my daughter wants blue streaks in her hair and my son has to read two books in two weeks to get a passing grade in advanced reading. What am I doing wrong???

I can build and run a successful construction company but I can’t run a successful home. Bullshit!!!

…and then it hits me

I can’t do it all ALONE! The one thing I thought I didn’t want and didn’t need is exactly what I need most! I pay people to help me with my company. I delegate jobs and projects to the appropriate people and the outcome is successful. So, lets try my personal life. I need a partner, a friend, a mate. Some one to help with the chores, the money, the kids, the lawn. Now where do I find the right one?

Well, it has been awhile since I have had time to write anything. So, lets recap the last half of 2008:

1. My new business was busy as hell towards the end of 2008. Being an insurance restoration contractor business had slowed down during the summer months and it was a bit nerve racking. The business was very much a happy ending to my year!
2. I became un-engaged to the Soccer Stud. I knew it was going to happen. Lets move on….
3. An ex-boyfriend and possibly the love-of-my-life called me from a mental institution! Yes, you read right….MENTAL INSTITUTION. The funny part (if there can be a funny part to being in a mental institution) he is the only person I know who would make it a party!

No, my life has not changed much. There is always soccer, men and business situations flying at me like a meteor shower and I am now in the midst of creating the first ever meteor rock umbrella…and it comes in 10 nifty colors for the more fashion forward. I’m always looking for a new money making venture!!

We were snowed in for Christmas and my sister came for a surprise visit for New Years. All in all, 2008 was a pretty good year and 2009 is starting out to be better than ever.

So why do I ask….”What have you done for me lately??”

Well, it seems that is the question of the year and I am constantly asked this question, in one form or another. From my kids, my business partner, my customers….everyone one wants you to do for them! Come on people….yes, there is an economic crisis. Yes, we have a new President with big solutions to everything including world peace. Yes, its a new year, out with the old and in with the new. So, lets trying doing for ourselves instead of asking someone else to bail us out of our problems. We got ourselves into it….lets get ourselves out!

My friend called me today and told me this story…

Once upon a time, my friend used her credit cards to much and was $7K in debt. Later, my friend took her son to the orthodontist and got him braces without checking to see if she had coverage. Now she is stuck with a nice $10,000 debt. My friend only works 3 days a week and is in a quandry as to how she will ever pay this off. My friend decides to ask her Father to lend her the money to pay off the debt with the plan to repay the loan over the next 3 years with monthly installment payments. My friends Father says “NO, you figure it out!” My friend is so upset she tells her Father that he has never cared for her, or her boys and does not respect the fact that she is a single mother and has done it all on her own for all these years. Clearly upset, my friend calls me to tell me about the awful way her Father has treated her regarding the money she would like to borrow from him and just can’t understand why her Father can not do the right thing and lend her the money.

Completely enthralled with this story, I give her this answer…..ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

Most people would love to be only $7,000 in credit card debt and what were you thinking taking your son to get braces without calling to find out if you have coverage! Sounds like a personal problem and I agree with your Dad…FIGURE IT OUT FOR YOURSELF! You got yourself into this mess, get yourself out. Personally, I would never ask my Father to bail me out of any problem, unless the lives of my children depended on it. If that was the case, I would never have to ask…my Father would be there.

Still, why do we ask so much from others and are not willing to do for ourselves? What have we become, did we grow up or did we grow incompetent to take full responsibility for our own actions? Have we been prepared for the road or has the road been prepared for us?  It is never too late! We can still learn from our mistakes and be better for them.

I leave this question for you…..“What have you done for YOU lately?”

I officially turned 40 on April 14, 2008. Why is this such a milestone decade and WHAT is 40 supposed to look like? People act surprised when I tell them that I am 40 and their next response is…

“You look Goooood!”

Was I supposed to wake up on my 40th birthday and somehow look different from the day before? Come on people…I was just 39 yesterday! Did the ugly fairy miss my house on the way to the over-the-hill store to purchase the black and white decorations for my surprise birthday party?

Naaaah, I don’t think so! Is it just good genetics? My Mom and Dad would like to think so, not  to mention my siblings are definitely hoping the ugly fairy will miss their house as well come their 4th decade on this earth.

I personally think it is our personal choice how we look and feel at any age. My grandmother, God bless her, is 89 years old and she is doing great. A little slow sometimes but she was parting up a storm at my surprise birthday party. She bailed at about 10:00 pm, way past her bedtime, yet she would not have missed it for the world. That is what I want to be doing. Partying at my granddaughter’s 40th birthday party.

I don’t think we ever get to old to change those things we want to change in our lives. You can look good at any age. Your life can be better from one year to the next. Sure life happens to us all, what we do with it is what defines us. Not an age, not a year but the choices we make will determine who we are today, tomorrow and every decade.

Ciao for now!  

Ciao for now!

Everyone should know by now that I play soccer. I write about it enough and I am sure everyone pretty much skips right over the soccer parts by now. Trust me, I don’t blame you. In fact, I thank you whole heartedly for actually continuing to read my posts. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

I do have many other talents. I can actually cook. I don’t bake (I leave that to my Grandma, she can bake roof shingles and it would taste great). I can tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue. My kids think its cool and the guys think its hot. And, I can sing. 

About a year ago, my lil soccer stud was playing with his soccer team a half-time scrimage during our local semi-pro indoor soccer game. My co-ed team is notorious at this facility and we are the team to beat. Everyone hates to play against us.

Okay, someone tell me to shut up now.

I am very good friends with the owner of the indoor soccer facility that is home for the semi-pro team. My lil soccer stud and I get to the facility early to get warmed up for the game when the owner comes running over to me obviously very excited about something.

“Kenny says you will sing the National Anthem!”

“No, Kenny can sing the National Anthem!”

“Please, I don’t have anyone to do it and last week I had an 11 year old girl that sang. You don’t want to be shown up by an 11 year old, do you?”

“Call her up, I bet she will do it this week too.”

Back and forth we go on this subject until I finally say “Okay” and agree to sing. My girlfriends that did not know I could sing because we only play soccer together were very concerned. Do I remember all the words? Do I need a drink of water? No, I just need to go somewhere and warm up. So, I go off and sing the song a couple times and work out the kinks.

My Mom shows up just as I am about to go into the bar and I tell her about my gig. She knows I can sing so she’s very excited. I go upstairs where many of my friends are already drinking beer and I get ready to take the mic. The announcer asks me what my name is and I tell him to just say “and now the national anthem” and call it good. If I tank, I am not taggin my name on it, that is for sure.

So, I am waiting for the announcement and one of my friends is standing next to me talking with some other friends. The announcer turns and hands me the mic and I start to sing. My friend, turns right into the mic and says…

“Holy SHIT, I didn’t know you could sing!” Brilliant!

I finish the National Anthem, hand the mic back to the announcer and the owner is so excited she has to buy me beer. I will tell you, it was fun to sing in front of a big crowd and that song is not an easy song to sing. 

Last night, my phone rings and it is my friend the owner of the indoor facility. The Stars are having their reunion game tonight and she would like to know if I would sing the National Anthem again. Please, please, please???? 

Of course, I said yes.

Ciao for now!

For those of you who have browsed my “about” page, you know I manage a construction company and exceptionally well for the past six years. Here’s my dilemma.

Two days before the owners are leaving for their yearly Christmas trip to Mexico, they pull the ultimate whammy.  The wife comes into my office and says…

“I know this is the 11th hour and I hate to ask but we would like brand new books starting January 1st. Do you think you can do it? I will pay you!”

I look her straight in the eye and ask…

“Your gonna pay me?”

She answers…

“Yes, I know I am asking not only a lot but pretty much for the world here. I will pay you.”

Against my better judgment (good judgment would be to have had it in writing) I agree to take on the project strictly based on her word and honor. Now I know they have no honor and their word doesn’t mean shit to anyone right now.

So, during the two weeks before January 1st, I work crazy hours, Christmas eve, weekends, New Years Eve and New Years Day to get what I need done to begin 2008 with new perfect books. My kids hate me for working so much, my family is pissed because I spent no time with them at Christmas and I am exhausted beyond belief. Needless to say, I pull it off without a hitch. The books are perfect, we are on track and everything went off seamlessly. I tweeked some reports gave them more than what they asked for and not a hiccup.

One would think that the owners would be ecstatic with the result….and… they were! Here’s where it get fun! I am in the owner’s office and we are discussing my quarterly compensation and bonus structure when all of a sudden, she is pissed off, I am not meeting my job requirements and she isn’t going to pay me my bonus and isn’t ready to pay me for the work I did on the new books. UNBELIEVABLE!

I have to tell you, I went ballistic. It was truly an ugly scene. Was I professional, absolutely! Did I lay down and take it…HELL NO! Yes, my friends, I gave my notice, send out my updated resume I keep on file out and I have two job offers for triple my current salary.

Now it is really gonna cost them to try and replace me. The owners are in a complete panic, my employees are ready to walk out the door with me and my kids are so happy that their Mom won’t have to work such crazy hours anymore.

The sad thing is, I really like this company. I have been here for so long and I truly thought of this place as home. I would never allow anyone to treat anyone here as horribly as I have just been treated and by people that call themselves my friends. Not only am I angry as hell but people that I trusted comitted the most awful betrayal. They stole my money.

I will keep you posted on the new job situation…

Ciao for now!  

When I told my friend that one night over drinks, she almost fell out of her chair.

“A hug?”

“Yup, sex is like a hug. It really isn’t any big deal to me.”

My friend called her husband and told him what I had said. He asked her who said it and she told him I had said it. He said he thought it was a guy who said it. It sounds like a guy thing to say.

Sex is a physical act between two people. They can love each other, hate each other, love to hate each other, hate to love each other or just straight up don’t give a damn.

Sex is something that feels good and should feel good. If you share your body with someone, it should feel good.

Making love are the little things you do away from sex. The whispers in the morning, the afternoon call to tell them you miss them is the act of making love.

Now I know my definitions of sex and making love are rather unconventional. I am an unconventional girl. Yet, I believe we need to look at relationships in an unconventional way. The more traditional views seem to keep most of my friends, male and female, confused and unsatisfied. How a man is supposed to behave toward a woman and vice versa. Can a woman take, forgive me guys, a mans approach to sex? I have and, I am here to tell you my friends, there is much less heartache.

Instead of trying to figure out what everyone else is thinking and feeling, maybe we should think about how we feel and what we think. I know it sounds selfish, yet how will we ever be able to truly love someone if we do not have self-love first? What I mean is this, to love yourself is to know that it is okay to like sex just for the sex and to make love without having sex. We do it all the time with our children, our parents, our friends. It is the misconception that to make love you have to have sex and vice versa. 

So, tell me what do you do to love yourself?

Does everyone that blogs read their blog stats as much as I do? I am constantly checking my blog stats. It just dawned on me how quickly this came about.

I have only been blogging since November of last year and, except for the weekends and before the doctor put the cast on my arm, I have been blogging everyday. I have discovered some wonderful new friends and read their blogs everyday, sometimes more than once a day. Crazy stuff this blogging. I love it!

What makes me crazy are my blog stats. Everyday….the line goes up…stops….goes up again…stops. How many people are reading what I write? Is my writing interesting enough and to how many people? Are my life antics viewed as a mini Brittney Spears or am I a voice of reason in all this insanity?

Tell me about your blogging fun, drama and why you love blogging.

Ciao for now!

Awhile back I wrote about the Soccer Stud stating he had something to ask me. Here’s a little update on the situation.

The SS hasn’t asked me anything. What he has done is started looking at rings. Knowing the SS like I do, I know he will get close to something I would love, yet not quite. So, I suggested I would send him pictures of rings I love and he could have his pick of any of those rings and I would be blissfully happy.

I sent him this ring as my favorite  

The SS sent me this ring he designed           

I know when I tell him it is pretty, just not my style, he will understand and get me what will make me happy. So, you be the judge. Which ring do you like?